You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Randomize
