I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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