Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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