ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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