I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
