maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
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