There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
