He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
