ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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