you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Randomize
