I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize