New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
