Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I stole a fireplace last night.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
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