I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
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