So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Randomize
