Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Randomize
