Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
you told grandpa to call you daddy
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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