I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Randomize
