I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
