I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
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