made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
