he puts the penis in happiness.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
