I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize
