His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
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