Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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