she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Randomize
