Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
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