White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
