I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
