Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Randomize
