hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
