Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
We just shotgunned beers for America
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
