He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
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