i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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