He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
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