Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
This couple is walking their pig around campus
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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