wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Randomize
