i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
