I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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