So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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