In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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