Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
