Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
