I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
