Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize