i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
So gin and wine won't be happening again
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
