In America we eat man semen.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
