Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
