Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
