i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
