I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize
