brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
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