I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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