I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Randomize