Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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