she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Randomize
