i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
