I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
How's work?
Spinning.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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