I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Randomize
