I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Randomize
