I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
