I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Randomize
